After being in a relationship from my early twenties, at the age of 32 I became single again. When I first ended the relationship, I was off men. Not because I had been cheated on or treated badly (not intentionally or to my knowledge anyway), but because deciding to end my ridiculously long relationship, when I still loved the guy, was tough, scary and emotionally draining. I wasn’t interested in any other guys because no one could live up to him.
How wrong I was! When I had had time to process the break-up and slowly begin to move on and ‘find’ myself again – realise what I liked and who I was I also started to get my flirt on and show some interest in the opposite sex! Unfortunately, at the time, my job had taken me to a really small town where the male population was, hmmm, let’s say, sparse and undesirable! I’m not even joking, the men that this town had to offer were either old, sleazy or morons, or even worse, all three!
To begin with, this wasn’t bad, as I had just started to want male attention again, however, as the months went on, I found myself craving male attention and that feeling of being wanted.
As a result of this, it all went down hill…and I mean literally…my standards completely dropped to base camp!
The first guy that showed me any interest was old and pretty sleazy and was also married! I toyed with him a little as it’s always fun to flirt and get some drinks at the bar…through him, I met more sleazy, old men. Also married! And through talking to friends found out that this was their ‘thing’… chat up the young girls and draw them in with talks of fancy hotels and exciting excursions that they could take them on… I’m not sure what their end game was and if they ever got anything out of it but I played along!
So off I went, with three old men on a road trip – I know, I know, I would be judging me too but I was in a weird headspace, pretty desperate for attention and a sucker for 5 star! It actually wasn’t a bad night away…I was put in the presidential suite of an amazing lodge and fed excellent food for dinner and breakfast. Conversation was good, drinks were good… It got a little awkward when the sleaziest of the three, standing so close to me I could see his oil droplets in his slicked back ‘i’m young and hip’ hairstyle, attempted to kiss me!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! He leaned into me with his wrinkled, old lips and slid his hand around my back. I immediately pulled my head back, pushed his body away from mine, ‘I’m not comfortable with this’ and hastily ran out the room to the pool….
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful… needless to say, I was so relieved to be back in the safety of my own home with not a sleaze ball in sight! Let’s not do that again! Let’s be a more confident, stable woman who only goes after what she really wants….Hopefully I’ll learn from this!
Turns out, I didn’t learn from this… as the weeks went on, I was really trying to be good and keep out of mischief…until the night when temptation reared its ugly head!