Post introduction

So, I started writing this afternoon and published my first post and then realised I hadn’t given any sort of introduction of myself and my reasons for writing this blog.  So, here goes…I’m a thirty-something year old (I’m not gonna give it all up straight away – hey! there’s a first time for everything!!!)  I am new at this whole thing and I have no idea if anyone is going to read this, but I am doing it for two reasons, well… three…Firstly, I was once told I should write a blog after some Facebook updates on a road trip.  Secondly, I have set myself an Australian challenge which you will read about later on – if you’re still with me!  and thirdly, I have a best friend who I have known since childhood who always wants updates on my life.  Every time I go and see her, she gets so confused as to which guy I’m seeing and which ones I like and don’t like and she jokingly asked me to write it all down… Well, F, here you go!  By the way, you aren’t the first person who said they needed it written down… I think someone asked for a spreadsheet?!!

I guess there is a fourth reason too – I want to write it for me, to get things down and try and figure out what the fuck I’m doing and to sort my head out!  So here I am…fingers crossed!

As I’ve been in a long relationship for almost half my life – I’m making up for my lost 20’s! One of my best friends once said to me,  ‘We’re in our 30s!  That’s our prime!’  So, here I am, in my prime!  I like to think I’m pretty normal, although I do tend to have this problem of a dirty mind – so in the blog if you find sexual innuendos – they are probably on purpose, although sometimes, I do it without even thinking, much to my friends’ amusement!  So yeah, pretty normal, however, have been through some tough times, as I’m sure most people have.  Been unsure of who I am, what I want and most importantly, what I deserve…

So…post break-up was a hard time… didn’t know who I was anymore, what I wanted, where I wanted to be and was lacking self-confidence and self-worth.  For some reason, I thought I would find some of the answers on a dating app! Not just any dating app, TINDER!!!! Now, we all know, that in the grand scheme of things, Tinder is not where you find love! Don’t get me wrong, I have met a few people who have found the love of their life on Tinder, however, mostly, it’s a hook up app, I think we will all agree! So, after the events which you will read about in my next post, I decided Tinder was the way forward to find that something that I was missing and looking for….by the way…so far… I’ve been wrong!  BUUUUUUT!  There is still hope!

Sure, it’s been fun along the way and I fully intend to keep going but with a new found sense of self worth and self confidence!  Otherwise, what would I write about?!  I hope you’ll stick with me as I divulge the world of Tinder and what it is to be 30-something year old singleton in a small town of couples!

It all started here…

After being in a relationship from my early twenties, at the age of 32 I became single again.  When I first ended the relationship, I was off men.  Not because I had been cheated on or treated badly (not intentionally or to my knowledge anyway), but because deciding to end my ridiculously long relationship, when I still loved the guy, was tough, scary and emotionally draining.  I wasn’t interested in any other guys because no one could live up to him.

How wrong I was!  When I had had time to process the break-up and slowly begin to move on and ‘find’ myself again – realise what I liked and who I was I also started to get my flirt on and show some interest in the opposite sex! Unfortunately, at the time, my job had taken me to a really small town where the male population was, hmmm, let’s say, sparse and undesirable!  I’m not even joking, the men that this town had to offer were either old, sleazy or morons, or even worse, all three!

To begin with, this wasn’t bad, as I had just started to want male attention again, however, as the months went on, I found myself craving male attention and that feeling of being wanted.

As a result of this, it all went down hill…and I mean literally…my standards completely dropped to base camp!

The first guy that showed me any interest was old and pretty sleazy and was also married! I toyed with him a little as it’s always fun to flirt and get some drinks at the bar…through him, I met more sleazy, old men.  Also married! And through talking to friends found out that this was their ‘thing’… chat up the young girls and draw them in with talks of fancy hotels and exciting excursions that they could take them on… I’m not sure what their end game was and if they ever got anything out of it but I played along!

So off I went, with three old men on a road trip – I know, I know, I would be judging me too but I was in a weird headspace, pretty desperate for attention and a sucker for 5 star! It actually wasn’t a bad night away…I was put in the presidential suite of an amazing lodge and fed excellent food for dinner and breakfast.  Conversation was good, drinks were good… It got a little awkward when the sleaziest of the three, standing so close to me I could see his oil droplets in his slicked back ‘i’m young and hip’ hairstyle, attempted to kiss me!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! He leaned into me with his wrinkled, old lips and slid his hand around my back.  I immediately pulled my head back, pushed his body away from mine, ‘I’m not comfortable with this’ and hastily ran out the room to the pool….

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful… needless to say, I was so relieved to be back in the safety of my own home with not a sleaze ball in sight!  Let’s not do that again! Let’s be a more confident, stable woman who only goes after what she really wants….Hopefully I’ll learn from this!

Turns out, I didn’t learn from this… as the weeks went on, I was really trying to be good and keep out of mischief…until the night when temptation reared its ugly head!